I’ve been experiencing some panic attacks lately due to the antics of a handful of manipulative people. It’s one of the downsides of being an empath and has nothing to do with any fear on my part. It’s just an empathic awareness that becomes so overwhelming that panic results. When people seek to deceive, I experience their thought process, their intention, their choices, and the energy associated with all of it in one fell swoop. It’s not that I’m afraid of any of them because they’re far too silly for that, but that their deception is so great that it has taken on a momentum all of its own and feeling all of it as I do, a panic attack results.
Deception is emotion-based. Someone wants something so much that they’ll do anything to achieve it including deceiving others. Empaths are like lightning rods for such machinations, typically becoming hyper-alert when deceptive energy comes close. My physical response is usually commensurate with the level of deception, so when it’s a panic attack, it tells me that someone is either really intent on getting what he wants or that he has assistance. In this case, it feels like both. At the end of the day, nothing will ever come of the deception or the game that’s played, but it makes things uncomfortable nonetheless.
Normally I look at daily influences instead of at specific questions when I look at the cards, but with what I’ve been experiencing, I decided to ask for clarity and for help in remaining calm and I found it prescient when I drew both Swords and Cups for the tarot reading. The 7 of Swords, Daughter of Cups, and the 2 of Cups are the cards I drew with an overall numerology of 9 or completion and alignment. Somehow I knew that would be the case.
Beginning with the 7 of Swords, six black swords are suspended in the air above a fox curled up over the seventh suggesting separate agendas are in play. He sleeps with one eye open, aware that all is not as it seems. It’s time to tread carefully until a clearer picture is possible, staying in observation mode only. Envy and jealousy are at the root of the deception that’s occurring and the best thing I can do at this point is to not create any thought channels toward that emotional vibration. Otherwise, it’s easy to absorb that emotion with my panic attacks the end result.
I must confess to finding Court Card annoying so I appreciate Kim Krans’s animal depictions instead of people. She uses snakes in the suit of Wands, swans with Cups, Owls with Swords, and deer with Pentacles. The Daughter of Cups (the Princess or Page in other decks) depicts a baby swan or cygnet peacefully floating on the water. Rainbow colors spill before her, reflecting emotions in balance. She remains in her bliss, unaffected by the world around her as she floats peacefully about. Her youth suggests undeveloped potential, imagination, and intuition as well as positive messages and new experiences.
The 2 of Cups is beautiful in any deck, but the simplicity of this card is striking. And I have to say that I love the directionality of the backgrounds in Krans’s cards. This one feels like a night sky with stars in motion. Beneath the starfield stands two cups with two red roses standing overtop in a crossed fashion. A unity of polarity is felt with this card, perhaps the unity or balance between intellect and emotions. Additionally, the card suggests harmony and partnership, the crossed roses depicting a strong connection. Normally, I would interpret the 2 of Cups in terms of a relationship between two people, but with respect to my empathic-driven panic attacks, this is about alignment within. Empaths pay too much attention to the goings-on around us creating all sorts of headaches for ourselves in the process when we can’t stay in observation mode. In other words, we have a tough time minding our own business because everything is so interesting.
In a sense, what I’m experiencing is vampiric energy and since witches don’t suffer fools well, I’m not sitting still for it. I’m honest and that bothers people. It’s both a witch and empath thing, but truth-telling comes with the territory, and there’s nothing I care to do about it even if I could. I have the Left-Angled Cross of the Clarion in my Human Design chart, which should explain all of it as well as the Christ Consciousness Field for my godhead. So they might as well just stop now because I’ll always be one step ahead of them.
But in the meantime, the answer lies with that adorable baby swan, floating about in her own bliss, focused on the present moment. This is alignment in its purest form, expressing the full truth of as above, so below. Because if we think about it, the expression isn’t as below, so above. We express ourselves as the Creator into the form that each of us takes. The trick of it is to not forget who we actually are as the Creator personified. And yet we do just that, absorbing the negative vibrations that seem to hold the physical world together. But that’s an illusion as well because we choose at every moment the experience we wish to have. Focus on something negative, and we create a thought channel or pathway to that negative situation, oftentimes unable to find our release. So, we visit it again and again and soon it dominates our awareness. We take up residence in the past instead of continuing to create the experience we wish to have, placing our emotional balance at certain risk.
I found relief from the situation by pulling weeds in the garden, my bliss evidently found there. Their screwy vibration still taps me on the shoulder but at least I’m no longer having panic attacks. So either their own focus is waning, or I’ve been successful in shutting down their vampiric asses.
But if not, it’s not as if I’m without options.