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Strength and Integrity ~ Tarot for 27 Feb 2017

Another 6, 7, 8 progression occurs in today’s tarot reading. Communication and balance, intuition and the shadow side of self, and our practical nature comprise the numerological influences of the cards. I pulled a fourth card, an Ace, which corresponds with one or new beginnings. Two cards from the suit of Cups dominate the reading along with one card from the suit of Swords and one from the Major Arcana. The overall numerology is 22, or the Master Builder number that makes our dreams a reality.

A young boy offers the gift of flowers in a golden chalice to his young friend in the 6 of Cups. Beauty and joy are signified by the large flowers with white depicting the purity of new love or friendship. A brilliant yellow background appears behind the young friends suggesting youth and vitality. The cups themselves represent our emotional presence, intuition, and the Goddess. The 6 of Cups suggests balanced emotions and relationships and the happiness both bring.

The 7 of Swords depicts a man carrying off five swords. Two remain, upright and aligned with each other. He appears to be running away, perhaps a thief helping himself. But all we really know is that he appears to be in a hurry as he carries five swords over his shoulder. This is one of those tarot cards where looking at the surrounding cards seems to assist in its intepretation. Otherwise any assumptions made could be incorrect. Deception could be its interpretation or simply someone transferring something from one place to another.

Strength, the eighth card from the Major Arcana suggests the power of the Goddess within. The woman sits quietly with the lion who looks lovingly at his mistress, her wild and practical nature in balance. She possesses the courage necessary to embrace her primal nature and to stand in her own power. But as we can see from the loving relationship between the woman and the lion, each possess a gentle sort of strength filled with trust and a secure presence.

A hand emerges from billowy clouds holding a golden chalice, water overflowing to the lotus flower below. A white dove signifying peace perches just above. The Ace of Cups depicts the beginning of our emotional presence or identity and represents abundance, love, and joy.

If we interpret the 7 of Swords as thievery in progress, then it can be said to represent our shadow side of self. Reason has run amok and we’ve convinced ourselves that stealing is just fine. The compassion we learned as children seems to have been replaced with a self-centered focus. But then it seems some growth has taken place as we learn about grace and compassion from the Strength card.

Finally, the Ace of Cups reinforces that where we begin matters. If we choose a self-centered focus, our interactions may become selfish or oppressive in nature, while a choice to engage with others in harmony and joy results in love that is overflowing and abundant.

Life just works better when we come together in harmony. It’s sad that the so-called new guy doesn’t understand this basic life-affirming concept. Instead he wants to build walls to keep people out and become the biggest nuclear power on the planet.

So while he’s headed off the rails, we’ll keep focusing on a better outcome than he’s capable of creating. A better outcome takes compassion for others and a willingness to work together in perfect love and perfect trust. And while he might not be able to summon the integrity to do right by us, like the Ace of Cups, our own integrity is overflowing. And it will sustain us and give us strength in the days to come.

Blessings to all!


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A Graceful Presence ~ Tarot for 7 Feb 2017

A Graceful Presence

It’s difficult to retain a graceful presence when the so-called new guy is running amok, potentially sending us all off the cliff while he vacations on a golf course after only two weeks in office. Calming our emotions can be difficult during these unsettling times, but as much as we all need to stay calm, it’s really the out of control antics by the so-called new guy that are the most troubling.

In today’s tarot reading the Empress sits serenely on her throne, the Goddess in her Mother aspect. A waxing crescent moon depicting the Maiden appears on the top left while a crescent moon that’s waning appears below on the left depicting the Crone.  A swan sits on her nest looking lovingly at her chicks. A double eagle appears on her shield to her left. The Empress is our Earth Mother, her swollen belly pregnant with new life. The blues and greens of the card suggest serenity and alignment. The 3rd card of the Major Arcana serves as the significator for the reading depicting the synchronicity of mind, body, and Spirit.

The Ace of Wands, 4 of Swords, and both the Princess and Queen of Cups comprise the reading itself. Fire, Air, and Water are specifically represented with The Empress providing the Earthy feel although she embodies all elemental energies. The numerology of the reading is 8, representing cycles, inner aspects, and triplicities.

A pattern initially emerges between The Empress and the Princess and Queen of Cups. Emotional and psychic or empathic presence and control are at issue in today’s tarot reading evidenced by the colors shared by the cards. The Princess of Cups simply flows in graceful emotional presence. She is imaginative and full of inspiration. The Princess holds a large shell, a tortoise peeking over its edge. A swan floats overhead and a fish and lotus blossom appear on either side, her lavender dress casting loving intention.

The Princess traditionally represents the student or message-bearer full of undeveloped potential. But the Thoth tarot takes a different view of the Princesses in the deck, believing them to be the culmination of the Aces, and view them with complete devotion. There’s such energy with this card along with the promise of something new.

The Queen of Cups stands above a pond, like the reflection of herself barely seen in the water. She is a natural witch, the empath, intuitive and psychic. She observes all, this loving Earth Goddess, and is loved beyond measure. Considered the watery part of water, her qualities are easily reflected in others. She can be ruthless when aware what others would keep hidden reflecting back to them who they are. Nothing is hidden from this Queen and no one can hide who they are around her.

Looking at both the Ace of Wands and the 4 of Swords, they appear to illustrate bringing our emotions into alignment by balancing our catalytic and creative presence with our intellect, creating a more aligned mind, body, and Spirit. A fiery wand arises, flames bursting in all direction, greenish lightning bolts extending behind. Aces are considered the root of each suit and essentially contain all the suits’ qualities therein. The Ace of Wands embodies our creative expression in all its catalytic expression. It’s the beginning of passion and courage, power and energy exploding from its center.

Unlike the projective or masculine nature of the Ace of Wands, the 4 of Swords signifies truce or a time of reflection representing a more feminine or receptive response. Four swords point to the middle of a mandala-like flower suggesting retreat and reflection. Chaotic thoughts expressed by the random star like designs appear in the background, away from our awareness as we go within to achieve alignment and to heal.

Emotions are running high these days with the recent election and unfortunately, it’s not an overreaction. The so-called new guy’s authoritarian and dictatorial attitude coupled with his extreme gullibility will in all probability create a long lasting negative impact but he’s on a roll and running amok and unable to see the true effect of his actions. Balance is sorely needed but out of his reach given his extreme reactions and lack of impulse control. He’s above it all and doesn’t seek advice from anyone who actually understands government and the world at large and his decisions reflect that arrogance.

It’s not that the world doesn’t need a reset. It does. Those in control have forever kept us in the dark as to how our world truly functions. We believe we have a voice in what happens but clearly, if this election tells us anything, we don’t. In time we’ll come to know how all of this happened but it’s clear at this juncture that manipulation is at its heart.

Instead of a Commander-in-Chief, it appears that we now have a Fleecer-in-Chief as a new report surfaced the other day discussing a lawsuit filed against a media outlet from his wife. I really can’t refer to her as the First Lady because it sure appears like his daughter is filling that role. A Washington Post article stated in her filing that:


An attorney for first lady Melania Trump argued in a lawsuit filed Monday that an article falsely alleging that she once worked for an escort service hurt her chance to establish “multimillion dollar business relationships” during the years in which she would be “one of the most photographed women in the world.”

The suit — filed Monday in New York Supreme Court, a state trial court, in Manhattan — against Mail Media, the owner of the Daily Mail, said the article published by the Daily Mail and its online division last August caused Trump’s brand, Melania, to lose “significant value” as well as “major business opportunities that were otherwise available to her.” The suit said the article had damaged her “unique, once in a lifetime opportunity” to “launch a broad-based commercial brand.”

“These product categories would have included, among other things, apparel accessories, shoes, jewelry, cosmetics, hair care, skin care and fragrance,” according to the lawsuit, which was filed on Trump’s behalf by California attorney Charles Harder.¹


“…during the years in which she would be “one of the most photographed women in the world.”” Let that sink in for a minute. It’s a little disgusting to think these people are only there to make money off the taxpayers. One of his sons just went to Uruguay to the tune of $100,000 on OUR dime and it’s costing us in upwards of a million a day to protect his wife and son in their golden tower in New York City. I couldn’t vote for her husband because of the allegations of predatory sexual assault. But even without that, his campaign rallies sickened me to the point that I would change the channel anytime they came on the television. I can’t listen to his voice or anything that comes out of his mouth. I believe this man constitutes a clear and present danger to all we hold dear in this country. He’s conned his supporters into believing he won’t abandon them but he’s doing that on a daily basis. His spokespeople lie continually and are being lampooned by everyone. He hasn’t even been there a month and protests are occurring daily.

The Resistance is in full swing and it’s only getting started.

So let’s keep our heads about us, observe and then when the time is right, act in unison to stop this man at ever turn because evidently, a graceful presence is beyond him.

We cannot let a fatigue-fueled clown destroy us. He has a choice to make every second of every day. Does he serve only self or does he live in loving service to others? So far, the answer is clear.

Blessed be to all in the struggle to restore sanity to our nation



  1. Melania Trump missed out on ‘once-in-a-lifetime opportunity’ to make millions, lawsuit says
  2. Court Filing


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Catalyzing Our Intention ~ Tarot for 13 Jan

Catalyzing our intention is the theme of today’s tarot reading. Three cards from the suit of Wands appear in progression in the reading, 6, 7, and 8 respectively. The numerology is 21 which reduces to 3, again catalytic in nature.

Looking at the cards, there’s balance and momentum, energy going in all directions. After an initial victory is achieved with the 6 of Wands, the wooden club in the middle of the 7 of Wands suggests that we stand in our power, followed by a rainbow appearing on the 8 of Wands suggesting a new day is dawning.

What comes through is that all is not lost and we have the resources and skills necessary to achieve our desired goals. The wands of the adept appear in a pattern on the 6 of Wands, flames rising from each crossing suggesting victory resulting from interaction with others. Any differences suggested by the three distinct wands are set aside fostering unity of purpose.

The same wands appear in a similar design in the 7 of Wands, but this time an additional club-like wand appears in front, apart from the others, making its own statement. Now that the battle has been won, either a leader has emerged or we’re asserting our own position on the situation. Valour is the title of this card, standing up for others and for a greater purpose.

The 8 of Wands has only jagged red rays emerging from the center of a crystal merkaba. A rainbow appears above. Swiftness is felt with energy moving in all directions. A sense of balance is also present as with the other two cards in the reading. A new approach is developing in tandem with the promise of a new day.

The swiftness of the rays suggests confidence with the middle rays indicating alignment. All angles have been considered and swift action is required, explosive yet balanced in our approach. We align with a higher truth and then act swiftly, with integrity, in synchronicity with others.

If today’s reading is any indication, we might take it as a positive sign that we have more power than we realize. We’ve proven time and again that with unified strength we are victorious. Our focus is on the greater good, a higher purpose our goal. While leaders may emerge, it’s our collective efforts that will bring our world back into alignment. We stand in our true power of Higher Self, of our collective consciousness, as we act with integrity and valor.

There are two days in 2017 which land on Friday the 13th, today and in October on my birthday. I was born on a Sunday, but I love it when my birthday is on a Friday the 13th. It was also on Friday, October 13, 1307 that King Philip IV of France, an uncle in my ancestry, arrested hundreds of Knights Templar, also uncles/cousins/grandfathers in my ancestry, for treason or heresy or some other contrived reason. They were wealthy, he wanted their treasure, so there you go.

No telling what shenanigans will happen between now and the next Friday the 13th, but if we’re to be victorious over any of it, we’ll need to come together in unified purpose. The Knights Templar saw what happened when a King decided they were no longer an asset, many burned at the stake at the hands of his arrogance, service to self more important than honor and truth.

The superstition surrounding the number 13, let alone falling on a Friday, is that it’s unlucky. I view it as a Master Witch number but then I have a certain bias that way. I prefer to use this day for setting intentions. So how about this one:

 I set the intention of no distractions from a unified purpose, of alignment with self and others. I set the intention that no matter what the dark forces who have gained power manage to do, they will not derail me from the reality of oneness and unity with all. I will use my awareness, stand in my own power as well as with others, extending harmony and love to all.

Eventually the circus-like atmosphere will end, our one family our true pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Blessings to all!


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And So It Begins

The Politics Of Baby-Proofing The World Against A Leader Lacking Basic Impulse Control

The Electoral College did what many of us wished they hadn’t. They formally elected the lowest common denominator as our president. I’m not going to list all of the harm he’s caused others because we’ve all heard it before. Unfortunately, enough people listened to his craven bullshit and because of the idiotic way we elect presidents in this country, the woman who was more qualified and received nearly three million more votes didn’t win.

I haven’t watched any news programs since before the election was called on November 8th. As an empath, I feel the collective grief we’re experiencing and I just can’t take that much. It’s like watching everything you know and love drive right off a cliff, powerless to stop any of it. I’ve posted headlines on Facebook and Twitter but I rarely read much of what I post. I’m not sure any of us needs the details of what this guy and his social circle will do to this country and in turn the world with their elitist attitudes. The rich won and the rest of us will have to make do with whatever they deign to give us.

To his supporters, is this what you thought would happen? That he’d fill the swamp instead of draining it like he promised? Could you not see that it was your own party’s policies and obstruction that brought us to the brink in the first place? And you think this guy is the answer? I suppose we’ll see, but so far, it’s beginning to look a little like Nazi Germany, what with the thug security force in lieu of Secret Service as his personal guards. I hope the taxpayers aren’t paying for them, but I’m sure we are.

It’s hard to believe he’ll settle down after the inauguration and actually govern like a real president does. I think we’ve seen the last of such things for a while. He’ll be too busy offending people and apparently corporations on Twitter. He can’t help himself, evidently having no off switch.

Bad news always seems to arrive at the holidays. Maybe we can end the Electoral College before this time next year. It’d be a bright spot, a reason to celebrate, amid whatever other crap we’re dealing with.

And so it begins, our new and uncertain future. But until this is over, I’ll pay attention while avoiding much of the details. And really, like the name of my blog, sometimes the best thing to do is to step aside and let others be exactly who and what they are, on display for all to see. The rest of us will be here to pick up the pieces after they’re done.

Blessings to all.

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The Power of a Queen

The Power of the Queens

A witch is drawn to places of power whether it be the mountains, the desert, or the ocean. We’re a curious bunch, and we notice all sorts of things when wandering about. One of the things we notice are rocks, particularly if they have holes in them. Every witch loves hag, or holey, stones. A divination tool, the witch looks through the hole to divine the future. A witch should never purchase a hag stone, instead we’re to find them on our wanderings. I suppose they can be a gift from someone, but it’s better for a witch to find her own. I found a Crone-load of hag stones at the Oregon coast last year while there for our oldest son’s wedding. I use them during ritual or if I need some Crone energy to influence a magickal working of some kind. Below the cards are two of the hag stones I found at the coast. In all of my life, I’ve never found one. But sometimes Goddess provides a windfall because that day, my gathering bag was full.

The Princess of Disks, the 4 of Disks, and the Queen of Swords from the Thoth deck are the cards for today’s reading. Elemental Earth energies dominate the reading with two cards from the suit of Disks. Pentacles in other decks, Disks suggest practical matters may be of concern to us today. The Queen of Swords, on the other hand, appears not to care about such things, or does she? The suit of Swords reflects Elemental Air and our intellectual presence in the world. Absent from the reading are Cups and Wands.

The numerology is easy because Court cards aren’t numbered, so the numerology of today’s reading is four, or Gaia energy. Synchronous with the energies of Elemental Earth, issues of foundation or structure are reinforced by the numerology of the cards.

Beginning with the Princess of Disks, we see a young woman whose focus is placed on practical matters. She stands silently, in deep concentration, her staff points downward to physical form. She is practical, generous, and reliable. The Princess is a student, her careful study transforming her future.

The 4 of Disks depicts the fortress of power, suggesting a strong foundation or structure. The four elements and quarters are represented in the scene, the strength of Elemental Guardians present. The 4 of Disks suggests wealth that’s building toward material or financial success.

And now for my favorite card, the Queen of Swords. She sits on her throne, reclined a bit, surrounded by clouds, her sword in her right hand, a head in her left. Clearly, she takes no prisoners, her effect final. The Queen cuts through illusion getting to the truth of the matter, suffering no fools in her path. She is intelligent and self-reliant, assertive yet graceful. Extraordinarily perceptive, the Queen of Swords prefers the solitary path, relying on her intuition as guide.

When Court cards appear in a reading, they can indicate either the individual on the card or their traits. An initial look at the cards really didn’t give me a feel for their flow. But as I began describing each one, it became clear to me what was going on here. Instead of seeing both Court cards in the same way, I decided to look at the traits of the Princess of Disks, and alternately, the Queen of Swords as an individual. I suppose we could see the Princess as the Queen when she was younger, but I think we’d arrive at the same place anyway.

There’s power in building the foundation for our lives. We seek out education in all forms, determined to learn all that we can, recognizing that the time spent in diligent, focused study will result in future success. We’ve learned from the Princess that transformation is possible with careful management of our resources.

But at the end of the day, the Queen reflects on wisdom gained over a lifetime lived. She’s paid her dues. The Queen uses her sword, balancing intellect with intuition to cut through illusion, finding the dispassionate solution. She lets go of what no longer serves, in this case, a severed head, suggesting it may be her own thoughts that she casts to the universe.

Typical Crone. Over time, we learn to choose our battles, eventually learning to ignore just about everything. In the clouds, she sits apart from the physical aspect of Self, aligning with her Source Presence as she releases her hold on the past. Her foundation is strong, the power of the Queen felt by all.

As women, we have far more power than we may realize. A lifetime of oppression is the cause, but all along, we’ve been building our strong foundation, our fortress. There is no one more determined than a woman. No one. We survive as we always have, with grace and dignity. And it’s time that we embraced that inner strength and resolve that has sustained us throughout our lives.

We’re worth far more than some in our country would suggest. And our time has come.

Blessed Be

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The Absence of Integrity

empath and empathy

There’s little else that matters to me than my integrity. While not an uncommon trait for a witch, it’s something that I believe in above anything else. It matters that I’m taken seriously because I don’t lie. An empath as well, empaths cannot tolerate dishonesty in others any more than we can tolerate it in ourselves. So I get a double dose of it I guess.

Deception from others is exhausting. An empath will typically feel in to figure out what’s actually going on. A witch will try to do something about it. No one likes being sold a bill of goods. We want to know exactly what’s going on at any given moment and most of us don’t deal well with dishonesty. And when we figure out what’s happening, we may experience a variety of emotions including betrayal, embarrassment, and anger. No one likes to feel they were lied to or taken advantage of in any way.

Lies matter in the broader scheme of things. If someone lies to gain anything at all, they risk fraud charges. If it happens in relationships, then they risk irreparable damage to those relationships. Everyone else is charged with outing the liar and sometimes that’s not received well, because liars often have supporters who foolishly become part of their game.

The absence of integrity leads people in directions that might benefit them for a time, but eventually it all comes crashing in on them. Lies create more lies and pull others in when they have no idea what’s happening. Before long, the lies are so complicated that it can be difficult to see how they’ve progressed, but typically is has to do with gain of some kind.

The gain involved may be financial in nature, but power and control are at the root of all of it, whether money is involved or it’s not. This may seem obvious, but many people are so passive aggressive that their deception is on a visceral or foundational level for them, and even they might not understand the ramifications of their actions. It never occurs to them that what they want is more about them than what it is they’re focused on and they resist any attempt at course correction.

When you seek to bring truth to a situation, you must be prepared for push back because it will happen. But integrity matters and the fact that so many find that challenging these days accounts for much of the oppressive nonsense we see and experience. We see it in the political arena as well as in our own personal lives as more lies are told to protect the lies that came before. It’s a never ending struggle with people who can’t seem to tell the truth.

Trust matters. Without integrity, trust doesn’t even enter the equation for me. So if someone lies to me, there had better be an explanation that is both understandable and believable. In other words, there had better be some really good extenuating circumstances before I’ll ever consider trusting that person again. Few have those kinds of explanations. Mostly they don’t respond at all, laying low, waiting for someone to rescue them from the situations they create.

They’re cowards, those who act without integrity. They prefer their will above all others and their inability to work collectively with others is sadly impaired. The challenges for the rest of us in dealing with them are many. Keeping these folks from doing too much damage is the least of it. Viewing them as Source Presence and extending them compassion actually should be the easiest thing we can do, but often our wounding gets in the way of that.

The absence of integrity casts a pall over everything. At some point, each of us not only needs to be able to trust, but to be trustworthy. We all matter equally. And we’re all one. So let’s turn a page and begin anew in dignity, integrity, and honor.

Integrity matters that much.

Blessed Be.


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Integrity, Self-Sabotage, and Unsustainable Choices: Human Design Transits for 18 July 2016

Human Design Transits 7182016

Today’s transits suggest that we may be sabotaging our own actions, in turn creating an unsustainable situation for ourselves and others. In Human Design, the 64 Gates represent the 64 hexagrams or guas from the I Ching. Even numbered lines represent Yang or creative/projective energies, and odd numbered lines represent Yin or receptive energies. Six of today’s transiting Gates are positioned at Line 1 indicating foundational or inner-oriented issues with the oppression of self as a running theme. Finding harmony with self and others seems to be the challenge, but one of our own making.

Although there is value in expressing practical ideas suggested by the Sun’s transit at Gate 56 Line 1, the Earth’s transit at Gate 60 Line 1 suggests acceptance and remaining in harmony despite limitations felt. In the I Ching, Gate 56 represents the wanderer suggesting that the journey is of more value than the outcome, so perhaps influences from both the Sun and Earth’s transits are bringing a different focus to the choices we should be making.

But the primary indicator of our getting in the way of ourselves is found in Jupiter’s transits today. Transiting at Gate 47 Line 1, we’ve stepped outside of reason, away from our integrity, and we’ve sabotaged any effort to remain as we were. Today we should take stock of the situation we’ve created, realizing that both the problem and the solution are found in the choices we make.

Venus at Gate 33 Line 1 suggests actively retreating to find our balance and integrity. We’ve preferred our own will to that of others, even to the point of something unlawful, causing the difficulty we now experience. Mars at Gate 14 Line 1 tells us that money isn’t everything. Opportunities for wealth exist but have their own problems associated with that.

Tempering one’s desire for wealth with higher values or principles is far better than going forward with behavior that is secretive and manipulative in nature as suggested by Pluto’s transits at Gate 54 Line 1. Manipulation to retain one’s position is a perfect example of self-sabotaging behavior and this transit with Pluto suggests that the tendency toward manipulation and dishonesty is a driving force within the individual.

Neptune’s transits at Gate 63 Line 1 suggests composure is required now. A situation of our own making has compromised generally accepted values and it’s time for the situation to end for us to begin anew. The key now is to accept responsibility for our role and behavior throughout. It’s the only way forward at this time, the only choice that makes sense.

Humans tend to be their own worst enemies. We get in the way of so much by trying to impose our will on others. We want what we want no matter the consequences. Today’s transits suggest that this is not the best approach as we bring all sorts of headaches into our lives by the counterproductive choices we make. Today is a day to retreat and reflect on how your own actions have created the situation in which you now find yourself. See the broader picture and view it from the standpoint of the greater good.

Blessed be.

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I Thought We Legalized Cannabis In Oregon

First off..I love the World Famous Cannabis Cafe. I haven’t been to their new location, but the last one was terrific. I had a better time there visiting with people and listening to music than I’ve ever had in a bar..ever. So I was astonished to read an article saying they might have to close down or be fined in January by the Oregon Health Authority for allowing cannabis consumption on site. Odd, because cigar lounges are permitted in Portland. If they were going to be treated differently than cigar lounges, then the city should have explained that to them before issuing them a business license. Otherwise, close down the cigar lounges as well.
Oregon supposedly protects people from second-hand smoke and other pollutants in the work place. It’s the law here, and they’re clearly trying to apply that to the Cannabis Cafe, but not cigar lounges? I know firsthand how it can affect the workplace. When we had a business, we asked our landlord repeatedly to stop the guy in back from poisoning us with cigarette smoke. This went on for eight years. The commercial spaces were not airtight, so smoke, as well as automobile exhaust and paint fumes, came in the shop continually. After four years of dealing with this, I filed a complaint with the state. It didn’t stop the guy.
In 2013, we were forced to close our business of thirteen years upon receiving an eviction notice after complaining to the city that the same tenant allowed a friend to use his space to refinish a boat, twice filling our space with styrene fumes. Styrene is toxic to breathe, so we were unable to be open for business. We simply couldn’t allow customers to breathe styrene in view of how sick we became from breathing it. Since this occured in winter, we couldn’t leave the shop doors open to exhaust the fumes. Given the seasonal nature of a motorcycle business in our area, you make your bank in the summer for use in the winter. We were at the end of winter funds, and we didn’t feel we could responsibly sign a lease with anyone else not knowing if there would be enough of a season left when we got settled in to the new place to make winter’s bills. So, having no real choice, my husband left his 20+ year career and retired early. He’s a disabled veteran, so we at least have that to live on.
I’m not sure how we deal with something like this. We don’t allow smoking in bars anymore, yet there are apparently cigar lounges that exist. So I would think that same provision should extend to the cannabis lounges as well. Yet, the Oregon Health Authority disagrees. The governor signed into law legislative measures that essentially rewrote Measure 91 and now what’s legal is only so in areas where the yes vote was I believe above 56%. I would have never thought my vote didn’t matter in Oregon. But I know now that it doesn’t. Motor voter? For what? Registering more people whose vote doesn’t matter? Oregon has become a place I no longer recognize.
I hope the World Famous Cannabis Cafe stays open. These very nice folks have been through too much for this to happen now.
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Stepping Aside

2015-08-26 12.19.24


I’ve spent a large part of my life existing in the negative energy of others. Most of the time I had no choice in the matter. It was an incredible training ground for an empath, but difficult nonetheless. A witch by birth, I learned to stay quiet by not doing so. I still have trouble with that one. Finding Human Design has validated my understanding of auras and their interaction with others, how some enfold and draw in like mine does, to those that are dense and repel. I grew up understanding the movement of energy around me more than I did any words spoken or actions taken, especially if those things weren’t in agreement. It’s hard being three or four and calling out adults on their hypocrisy. I mean, what do you say to a little blue-eyed girl who speaks truth? Needless to say, no one was comfortable with me.

Little girls learn early on that having a voice is dependent upon another’s approval. And it’s bullshit. However, many succumb and it’s reflected in their willingness to add to the drama, judging harshly those sisters who need their support the most. They live their “special place in hell” spoken of by Madeleine Albright on a daily basis, seeing other women as the enemy, unable to hear even the slightest difference in thinking or being, even shutting down the conversation if necessary so that nothing they believe or say is challenged. They emit negative energy masked in something else. When you’re born aware, as I was, you feel these incongruities in the other person. Eventually they coalesce into form and even though you see that it’s born of pain, it’s still hard to detach from the hurt you feel from their actions. But detachment is what’s exactly called for. Otherwise, an aware person drowns in the other’s chaos. At least that’s how I experience it. It’s like swirling around in a vortex that pulls you ever downward. Even writing about it takes my breath away.

Many of us simply assume a defensive posture and never leave it, seeing everything as an attack, even when others agree with them. They cannot hear the agreement, evidently, choosing instead to pull something said out of context, and responding from there. It’s a never-ending struggle, caused by perception, rather than truth. I always feel so helpless in these situations because nothing I say or do can end that struggle for them. They have to find their own solutions and all any of us can do is step aside and let them. For an empath, it’s heartbreaking, because we see the entire picture of someone. We know who they actually are, without the disarray caused by their own perception of self. So to see people we know and love struggle when it’s so needless is painful beyond words.

I’ve found myself in this place of stepping aside lately. I believe in coming together in unity of purpose, respecting and learning from the individual differences I encounter. When that’s not possible, for whatever reason, I’ve learned to step aside. Staying too long within the drama only feeds it, and I’ve done far too much of that under the guise of not giving up. It’s not naivete; it’s just hard to give up on someone when you see how amazing they really are. But now, I’m weary of it all.

Maybe it’s that I’m in my Crone phase of life. The cynical among us would blame it on menopause, but given that I think menopause actually returns clarity to a woman, I would heartily disagree with that assessment. I find trying to deal with things, whether they be people, problems, so-called healing that I supposedly need to do, to be irritating at best. Because at the end of the day, what really happens? What earth-shattering revelation have you gained by it all? I don’t have the energy anymore to tolerate people who would just as soon be hypocrites as decent human beings. It’s just not possible anymore. And I’m okay with that.

I’m not sure when this happened, but I really don’t feel the need to explain myself anymore to people who behave disrespectfully toward me. I don’t have to explain any of it to them, or try to get them to see a different view. I’m more than happy to view them as the assholes that they indeed are. I feel no need to explain where they went wrong, or what they should be doing about it. It doesn’t matter if they understand how I feel about what they did. My feelings are clearly of no interest to them anyway so I just don’t care anymore. They can stand all by themselves on whatever hill it is they wish to die on as the saying goes in all their proverbial glory..or assholiness. Whatever. I’m not even interested enough to watch.

When the boys homeschooled, we used a couple of books written by the same author focusing on our justice and economic systems (Whatever Happened to Justice, and something about penny candy). Our justice system is based upon the ideas of do all you say you will do and don’t encroach upon others. I used to say to the boys that if they did nothing else but live by those two concepts, they’d be fine in life. The same two ideas also apply to communication within relationships.

When we come together for a common purpose, whether it be in a marriage, a family, a job, or any other group of people, all voices need respecting and preserving. All voices. We make that agreement, whether formally or informally, to respect each other’s integrity and voice by coming together in the first place. It’s not made only with those with whom we happen to agree. Individual differences enhance us whether we adopt them or not. Respect costs us nothing, while disrespect loses us everything. I’ve allowed too much disrespect to surround me, choosing to remain silent as others run roughshod. I’ve given myself away to these people, letting them define my response.

Remaining silent is sometimes the only response we have. But I have to think that we choose it too often, when it’s our spouse, our kids, our co-workers, our friends, complete strangers. We get in the habit of letting too much go. Maybe we don’t engage verbally, but we need to engage somehow. Make a choice that respects your integrity, your dignity. Make a choice that protects you instead of leaving you wide open for the next time. Allow no one to decide what’s best for you. That belongs to you and only you.

So I’m done with the chaos, the disrespect, the suppression of my voice. I’m stepping aside, out of the line of fire. I will no longer create the space for disrespect to take hold. I will no longer let others hold me in a place of their choosing based upon a perception of me that isn’t real. I’m not cooperating anymore. I’m no longer living with the damage they cause. It doesn’t belong to me. Instead, I’d rather create and hold space for all things loving and peaceful.

Imagine..a lovely conversation over a cup of tea..candles lit and incense burning..the sun is shining..the hummingbirds are paying a visit..feel the resonance of the moment..then lather, rinse and repeat.

~Blessed Be