If it’s raining, it must be Memorial Day weekend..

Memorial Day weekend. It always rains. This weekend is no exception. So, I made some more oil. I have to say, I sleep so much better now that I’m taking oil in the evening. 

I planted in the greenhouse this year. I’ve had a greenhouse for many years, but I’ve never really used it. My husband fixed it up a few years ago and was planting in it, but I was just too ill to do anything. Plus, I had to walk through pond water that leaks through just to get to the greenhouse. It smells. So that’s not happening. This year, however, he built a walkway so that I can get there without it creeping me out. Now I just have to remember that I did all this and go out there every day and water everything. I used to grow huge gardens. I should be able to handle this. We’ll see…

I’ll either have enough for a salad at some point, or back to the produce department.

I bought a 40ft container to put the business in. We’re finally starting to move things from the storage unit. The next thing is to finish up the inventory and then contact a liquidation company to deal with it. At some point, it will all be over. I guess then we’ll be able to look at what’s happened without all this other crap hanging over our heads. It will still suck. It’s not easy losing a business at any time, but when it’s imposed upon you, there’s no real way to find closure. We didn’t decide to retire. We didn’t decide to end a business that wasn’t successful. We just had no options going forward when our lease was terminated. You don’t always win when you’re in the right. Sometimes the really bad people win. And that’s what happened to us. I’d like to think karma will get them in the end as they say, but I really don’t have any faith in that, primarily because it never happens quickly enough for me to watch.

The Course in Miracles teaches that we give everything the meaning that it has. We can look at things any way we want to. It’s a choice. I can choose to be angry about the circumstances of my life or I can choose to feel another way. Still working on that one, by the way. My husband wants to know what he’s supposed to think about everything that’s happened. He wants to know what he’s supposed to learn from it. What was it all for? Twenty years of his life, in his estimation, was for nothing. So I had the talk about the difference between being focused on the goal or the process. Process-oriented people do better in life I think because they aren’t concerned with outcomes, just the journey. That’s the difference between us. And it’s a significant difference. I will fare better with this adjustment than he will. He’s focused on his life’s work, which I can understand. For me, it’s about who I am in this life, not what I do. As long as I’m learning, then everything’s fine. I just want harmony. He’s about extremes. And yes, it’s been a bumpy 34 years.

Thank God for Weeds marathons.